Backwards to a Foreword

I started these writings with the intent of making mostly comedic style social observations. But opinions are like arseholes- everyone's got one- and as if often the way- the original intent is not what has eventuated, as the darker side of my mind has been very much in control lately.

All my writings are essentially a point of view or recollections of lived experiences. As with witness statements, which are not admissible as evidence in court due to the high rate of inaccuracy- sometimes what I feel, think or remember won't be the same as other people who may have been present for the same events.

They are my thoughts, feelings and memories, and may not necessarily represent those of people represented in them.

Tuesday, 1 November 2011

An aside to the dark side- Hate self

I learnt the phrase "hate self" from a slightly neurotic co-worker, who would say it several times a day for any reason from a computer freezing to an actual difficult situation. I never really knew if she genuinely meant it, but it stuck with me as a very apt, succinct synopsis for my own being.

Hate- I loathe, detest, am disgusted with, ashamed of, resent, fear,
and believe:
Self- I, me, myself, everything that I am, my being, personality(s)
is not worthy of existence, being, breathing, consuming resources or inflicting others with my presence.

I frequently want to remove myself from existence, but have neither the guts, fortitude or character to go through with it. A fact which makes it all the more bitter and ironic- I loathe that I am too inept to even resolve this, of all problems.
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