3 stages- Don't get pregnant, Won't get pregnant, Can't get pregnant,

Commentary on the article:

http://www.bionews.org.uk/page_48398.asp

Professor Gedis Grudzinskas

Director of Fertility Focus Professional Services (FFPS is an expert, unaffiliated, independent, multi-disciplinary, international network of infertility specialists)

Grudinskas' article described the modern western woman's 3 stages of fertility as:

- Don't get pregnant

- Won't get pregnant, and

- Can't get pregnant

The first, "Don't get pregnant" describes presumably the teens and early to mid 20s, where sexuality is being explored, and the focus is on having fun with the aim being, at all costs- "Dont get pregnant!".

The second stage the "Won't get pregnant" was described as being the professional years, around 25-35, where women are focussing on their jobs, traveling and trying to build a successful life outside of a procreation focussed model.

The third was described as "Can't get pregnant", when on reaching the stage where women do want to have children, they realise they're in their mid to late 30s or *god forbid* LATER, and have trouble conceiving.

Prof Grudinskas is an infertility specialist. He profits financially and professionally from other people's infertility. While I'm sure he's heard every story as to why people are seeking his help to conceive, he applies a sexist social schema to the situation which is not only insulting to women, but unhelpful too.

The author also suggested a few reasons for women having children later such as "holding out to find prince charming". While I can see his (of course, the author was male!) points to a certain extent, I mostly found these comments insulting and incredibly judgemental of women's reproductive "choices". To lay the full blame for a low birth rate in Australia solely on women's shoulders, and condemn them for the social consequences of this shows how certain fields of sexism are still very much alive and kicking.

This can be easily seen by substituting male for female in the above arguements. There is nowhere near the same expectation for men to have children on the same kind of timeline, partly because they can produce viable sperm until a much later age, giving them an extra 10- 20 years to forge a career, relationships and other aspects of life. If men are still single at 35 they dont get anywhere near the pitying looks, and if they choose to remain single for life- hey they're a bachelor, no problem. The word spinster, though carries connotations of being single because there's something wrong with you rather than having made an active lifestyle choice.

Presumably the women who have decided there is no right/wrong time/man when and with whom to start their family. With the ticking clock symbolism the author spread throughout his piece, he suggests that women are "too picky" of who should father their children, and should "settle" for one of the thousands of decent guys who are around. " I would ask- have you told them that- These "decent blokes"? "Hey mate, some chick wants to marry you and have kids, though she doesn't really like you, but the clock is ticking!". Something tells me this is when most males would push the eject button, not say "Awesome- sign me up!".


What kind of relationship he thought this would foster in terms of providing good parenting for any resulting children of the relationship I don't know.

To some, the prospects of divorce, redundancy, compromised career progress and the drudgery of motherhood replacing a responsibility-free social life lead to further delays.

Mummy and Daddy didn't really want me, but they felt pressured to breed as Mummy's ovaries were about to spontaneously combust and take down all of society with them in her failure to procreate on schedule.

Alternatively, wuold he have women down the pub, trawling for sperm? "Anyone for a root- I'm ovulating... errr I mean horny." Excellent- just what the country neds is more unknown fathers and welfare -dependant single mothers. But shit- look out- you're 33, and if you don't meet someone in the next 6 months, then you won't have a baby by 35, then *gasp* it's the armageddon!

I suppose for myself I lie somewhere between the Won't get pregnant and Can't get pregnant categories.

I'm 30, childless and single. Through Prof Grudinskas' lenses this must be because I'm hugely career focused or reject all these adequate males which must be thrust at me constantly in my life, or don't want to "inconvenience" myself with children. I assure you this is not the case- I like working, but am in no way wed to my job or driven with hunger for career success or prestige. I would love to have children, and ideally would like to be having them now, but life hasn't transpired that way for me.

Fantastic as it is for those who met their dream partner at 25, dated for 3 years, got married and had children at 29-32 (well done- gold star for you all) should those of us who didn't experience this set of circumstances run down the pub and jump on the first cock I find? Brings a whole new meaning to "fell" pregnant:

"I was walking along the street when I happened to trip and land on an ejaculating penis."

"Oh that's lucky Sas- you're 30 after all, and were about to spontaneously combust!"

So no- I won't get pregnant this way, sorry Prof Grudinskas. Aside from the initial unappealing logistics of shagging some random creep, I would then be faced with:

- losing my house as taking maternity leave I wouldnt be able to maintain mortgage payments

and/ or- chucking the resulting progeny into childcare at 3 months old, resulting in poor parental bonding, lower rates of breast feeding, a far more stressed out parent

- a lower overall birth rate: Think you could do this once as a single parent? Try doing it 2-3 times and see how your socio-economic status and sanity is faring!

And then we enter the Can't get pregnant, but Ill leave that for another day as I think this was a sufficiently long rant on the topic for now!