In mid 2011 I got a surprise I wasn't expecting and certainly didn't want. I had a cancerous tumour inside me.
Albeit non-invasive and possibly surgically removed, 2 operations and 8 months later I am not sure if it's "gone". The next screen is in late February.
For a very open, and often overly honest person, I have been very reluctant to talk about this for a number of reasons, but what the hell- according to the stats, no one is actually reading this shit anyway!
1- I don't know what to say. Am I ok would probably be the question? Well.. physically, I dont know if it's gone, and mentally- I don't know if it's gone (and hence all the implications that come with that)!
2- How people might treat you- the "oh poor you" shit, and having to have that pity overtake everything. I don't want to have to talk about it all the time or see it in people's eyes when I talk to them.
3- Stigma around the type of cancer. It is cervical cancer, so gynaecological, which means that you're already talking about highly personal areas, and then there's the "oh, that's the sluts' disease right?" (yes I have actually heard people talk about it in that way) aka you DESERVE it. Do you engage them in a whole debate as to how you only need one partner etc to get it, knowing that it won't change their mind and you remain the skanky ho-bag with the manky private parts?
People's misunderstandings are marvellous- the "oh, but everyone gets an abnormal pap smear" yes, about 70% will at some point in their life, and 99% will get some form of HPV. Most of them will go away without every needing any treatment. I did not have this situation- I got to pass Go, do not collect $200, and head straight to cancer.
The implications are a fun set, from [if it's not gone] the next stage being a full hysterectomy- meaning I will never be able to have children, to the knowledge that I could potentially infect partners and give them penile cancer etc (although the probabilities of that are less than 1%) or may have already unknowingly done so. Brings back memories of Eddie Murphy's Delerious sketch "what's next, you put your dick in and it explodes?".
Or do you choose option b: not have treatment, and let the cancer eat you? Life expectancy would be approximately 10 years- but would you want to live, if it means giving up the hope of a family and everything you wanted anyway?
Saturday, 28 January 2012
Wednesday, 25 January 2012
Things that shit me #17- Racism (part 2- the Australian flag)
In Things that shit me #10- Racism I talked about how racism is irrational. As some pointed out, there can be some benefit in stereotyping in life, such as with the following example:
This spectacular mullet-hawk creation was spotted from across the room at a recent hen's night and we felt we had to investigate closer (note the friend with the backward hat... indoors... at night next to Mr Mullicious). After engaing this table of fine examples of manhood in a brief conversation we confirmed our hypothesis made from across the room based on stereotypes: they were indeed, douchebags.
Neurosurgeon Charlie Teo has been making some comments on the issue leading up to Australia Day "I had an Indian neurosurgeon visiting me a couple of years ago and it was really sad. The fellow was standing at the traffic lights and some guy drove past and spat on him and told him to go home."
Since the Cronulla riots I think racism has increased in Australia, or become more acceptable.
This spectacular mullet-hawk creation was spotted from across the room at a recent hen's night and we felt we had to investigate closer (note the friend with the backward hat... indoors... at night next to Mr Mullicious). After engaing this table of fine examples of manhood in a brief conversation we confirmed our hypothesis made from across the room based on stereotypes: they were indeed, douchebags.Neurosurgeon Charlie Teo has been making some comments on the issue leading up to Australia Day "I had an Indian neurosurgeon visiting me a couple of years ago and it was really sad. The fellow was standing at the traffic lights and some guy drove past and spat on him and told him to go home."
Since the Cronulla riots I think racism has increased in Australia, or become more acceptable.
While the intellectual level of the verbal exchange between the groups has contributed a record of a marvellous sample of the Australian Language :
One of the Lebanese men responded to the accusations, "I'm allowed to; now fuck off and leave our beach", to which a lifesaver responded, "I come down here out of my own spare time to save you dumb cunts from drowning; now piss off, you scum" (op cit)
the ensuing effect on Australian culture has been solely negative.
What arose from this day is giving something symbolic and positive a very negative meaning. The Southern cross is a star formation seen from the Southern hemisphere, and appears on the Australian flag in white, and the New Zealand flag in red. (The Kiwis didn't deserve to be dragged into this one!) It now almost as commonly appears on the rear windows of Holden Commodores and Ford Falcons (note a strong correlation of these vehicles being lowered and having mag wheels) or tattooed onto a young skip's shoulder or chest.
As I started writing this the other day, I was partly annoyed (hey- it's my idea) and partly reassured that I'm not alone in this thinking when a study was in the news this morning confirming this:
While the media coverage of the study is limited as to the study design etc, it does not surprise me at all, as it is certainly an association I have regretfully drawn.
Monday, 23 January 2012
Fashion victims #3
The first piece in today's fashion victims collection (right), is not an article of underwear you may find in an adult sexual-activity equipment/accessories store, but masquerades as an item of swimwear. I find myself pondering exactly how many share the designers of this one own in laser hair removal clinics or wax manufacturers. Suggestive of a male- to- female gender reassignment surgery, this one says OUCH in quite a few ways.If you're not thinking "pluck me!", and are somewhat less of an attention seeker, perhaps beige is more your style.
Certain limits should be applied to the amount of beige anyone should wear at the one time, however. This shade is called "camel", and it is assuredly the only hump that will be likely to be associated with it. Camel, on the otherhand becomes twice as relevant with a little stretch into the air, thus creating a -toe.
Our final article in today's collection appears to be an innovative, environmentally friendly item, made from rubber bands and pieces of string. That is probably its only positive attribute, aside from its moderate amusement value to a kitten- although with the minimal protective value it holds your skin will soon resemble the shirt itself.Friday, 20 January 2012
Religious intolerance and homophobia
I was quite saddened at work the other day to hear a colleague discussing how she had "addressed" the issue of her 9 yr old son witnessing two men kissing in the street some weeks ago.
She had explained that while "we don't agree with what they do, and their choices, it doesn't mean they're bad people". My first question was regarding the "their choices" part- I asked "did you also explain that a lot of Australians (and indeed other countries) do not believe it is a choice at all, but how they are born, and part of a range of normal human existence?"
Her response "yes, well there is that, but it's not what our church teaches".
Me- "and you realise it's not what all churches believe or teach."
There is such an incredbile shame in any culture, religious or geographical, which encourages prejudice and indoctrinates youth to carry that discrimination in their hearts and minds. I would argue that an equally valid approach for such an institution to take would be teaching from the perspective that "God made us all in his image, a variety to express all the things he couldn't encapsulate in one being, but beautiful and loved equally.". Even the simple "what do you think?" would encourage free thinking individuals to come to their own conclusions, which if your ideology is the "correct" one, they will most probably align with.
What is it that they fear? Is it that they think everyone not marched into an orderly conformist queue, without which all will decide to go out and root someone of their own gender? Believe me, despite being athiest and experimenting some in my university days and early 20s, the lack of a religious based institution or the fear of "God's wrath" did not make me magically choose to be a lesbian- indeed I turned out 95% straight. Why 95%? I subscribe to the Kinseyan school of thought that everyone exists on a plane from 100% hetero to 100% homo- sexual and not bisexual as a 50-50%, but every distribution in between.
The world has enough fear and hatred already to put bounds on what love can comprise, and yes I do mean love, not lust, not an "i luv u" between teenage friends, passion or fleeting enamourment.
Thursday, 19 January 2012
The Right to Die
Death and taxes- the two certainties in life. The latter you have little control over, as it is deducted from your pay (unless of course you work illegally etc), and many would say you don't have much control or choice with the other. I would say this is not the case, and doesn't have to be either.
It's one of those big issues, where often people will hold a very strong opinion, and become very judgemental toward any who differ in opinion. The source of many opinions comes from socialised thought-controlling institutions such as religions. By indoctrinating people to believe that they are sacred and created by a deity, an associated belief that to thus end that existence would be rejecting the gracious gesture of said deity. For many it isn't enough that they think ending your life by choice is "wrong", but they feel the need to force this view on others: make them feel guilty, as though they are wrong to even consider an act which is most often only considered to end incredible amounts of suffering.
How can anyone guage the suffering of another? By observation or even asking them we can only know so much. You will never actually feel what they feel- even if you have, for example, the same terminal cancer as they do, one's symptoms and lived experience of that pain will be different to the next person. So to presume that they should put up with it or use a different coping method, treatment, therapy etc is not only taking away some of the validity of their experience but disrespecting their choice not to choose what you would- free will.
It would appear that it's somewhat acceptable for older people, for example if someone has a terminal illness at the age of 90 and chooses to end their life, as opposed to someone who is 30 and in the same situation. Society is inclined to drag things out- pressure people to stay on life supporting treatments to eek out an extra few weeks of existence, regardless of the quality of that time.
So what of those who don't have a "terminal illness" in the sense of imminent organ failure? People could live for 20 years as a quadriplegic or with serious mental health issues which deny them any decent quality of life, involvement in society or any semblance of a "normal" life. Yet where death is not biologically imminent, the decision to end such a poor quality of life or level of suffering is often less accepted, stigmatised and shunned.
I know that for myself quality of life is important. If I had nothing to look forward to, the time I would choose to look forward may be limited. Regardless of my own choice, I respect those of others and would not support any move to take away that right from them- even if I miss them terribly, wish they were still here, agree with the decision or not.
It's one of those big issues, where often people will hold a very strong opinion, and become very judgemental toward any who differ in opinion. The source of many opinions comes from socialised thought-controlling institutions such as religions. By indoctrinating people to believe that they are sacred and created by a deity, an associated belief that to thus end that existence would be rejecting the gracious gesture of said deity. For many it isn't enough that they think ending your life by choice is "wrong", but they feel the need to force this view on others: make them feel guilty, as though they are wrong to even consider an act which is most often only considered to end incredible amounts of suffering.
How can anyone guage the suffering of another? By observation or even asking them we can only know so much. You will never actually feel what they feel- even if you have, for example, the same terminal cancer as they do, one's symptoms and lived experience of that pain will be different to the next person. So to presume that they should put up with it or use a different coping method, treatment, therapy etc is not only taking away some of the validity of their experience but disrespecting their choice not to choose what you would- free will.
It would appear that it's somewhat acceptable for older people, for example if someone has a terminal illness at the age of 90 and chooses to end their life, as opposed to someone who is 30 and in the same situation. Society is inclined to drag things out- pressure people to stay on life supporting treatments to eek out an extra few weeks of existence, regardless of the quality of that time.
So what of those who don't have a "terminal illness" in the sense of imminent organ failure? People could live for 20 years as a quadriplegic or with serious mental health issues which deny them any decent quality of life, involvement in society or any semblance of a "normal" life. Yet where death is not biologically imminent, the decision to end such a poor quality of life or level of suffering is often less accepted, stigmatised and shunned.
I know that for myself quality of life is important. If I had nothing to look forward to, the time I would choose to look forward may be limited. Regardless of my own choice, I respect those of others and would not support any move to take away that right from them- even if I miss them terribly, wish they were still here, agree with the decision or not.
Tuesday, 17 January 2012
Things that shit me #16- LMFAO
Have you ever heard a fantastic song you absolutely love? How about one that gets right under your skin, and irritates you so much you start hating humanity? Well "Sexy and I know it" by LMFAO fits in the latter category for me.
Aside from the obvious irritation derived from the band (group?)'s name "LMFAO" (see Things that shit me- lol), I seriously hope they're taking the piss, because the song encapsulates so many things that annoy me about Generation Y, dating in the last few years and society in general (see Things that shit me- Arrogance).
I'm not sure on the accuracy of these randomly copied lyrics from the internet, but they're close enough for the purposes of this diatribe:
When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly
I pimp to the beat, walking down the street in my new lafreak, yeah
This is how I roll, animal print, pants out control,
It's RedFoo with the big afro
They like bruce lee rock at the club
Girl look at that body (x3)
I work out
Girl look at that body (x3)
I work out
When I walk in the spot, this is what I see
Everybody stops and they staring at me
I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it
I'm sexy and I know it (x2)
I know I've said many times before (and possibly written?)- when did it change from guys saying "you look nice, I'm attracted to you", to "I'm hot, you know you want me"? Its a subtle, but important shift that mostly exists in generation ME (aka Gen-Y). Males being so self-obsessed that they would rather admire themselves in the mirror than at an attractive woman.
Perhaps it works both ways and women do the same to men? I'm not entirely sure, as I'm not on the receiving end of those dalliances.
But it's all just symbolic of how self-centred much of society has become. Don't you all know it's not about you!?... it's really all about ME!
Aside from the obvious irritation derived from the band (group?)'s name "LMFAO" (see Things that shit me- lol), I seriously hope they're taking the piss, because the song encapsulates so many things that annoy me about Generation Y, dating in the last few years and society in general (see Things that shit me- Arrogance).
I'm not sure on the accuracy of these randomly copied lyrics from the internet, but they're close enough for the purposes of this diatribe:
When I walk on by, girls be looking like damn he fly
I pimp to the beat, walking down the street in my new lafreak, yeah
This is how I roll, animal print, pants out control,
It's RedFoo with the big afro
They like bruce lee rock at the club
Girl look at that body (x3)
I work out
Girl look at that body (x3)
I work out
When I walk in the spot, this is what I see
Everybody stops and they staring at me
I got passion in my pants and I ain't afraid to show it
I'm sexy and I know it (x2)
I know I've said many times before (and possibly written?)- when did it change from guys saying "you look nice, I'm attracted to you", to "I'm hot, you know you want me"? Its a subtle, but important shift that mostly exists in generation ME (aka Gen-Y). Males being so self-obsessed that they would rather admire themselves in the mirror than at an attractive woman.
Perhaps it works both ways and women do the same to men? I'm not entirely sure, as I'm not on the receiving end of those dalliances.
But it's all just symbolic of how self-centred much of society has become. Don't you all know it's not about you!?... it's really all about ME!
Sunday, 15 January 2012
Rules for internet dating
I have made forays into the world of internet "dating" on a few occassions, and have compiled the following list from some of my experiences:
Rules for Internet Dating
#1- Do not send photos of your genitals. Seriously- I don't want to see them, and neither does anyone else.
#2- Don't use a screen name like "Mr Hot 4 U"- although it tells people a lot, but unfortunately it's not your intended message, rather "I'm a total douchebag"
#3- Never accept a request for a webcam chat- it's probably just another version of someone breaching rule #1.
#4- The idea of a chat room is to chat. If you don't say anything, you're devoiding the whole purpose of being there.
#5- Profile pictures of you shirtless or in the shower etc say either "I'm in love with myself" or "I'm a total sleazebag" or a combination of the above. You're probably likely to be the type of person to break rule #1 as well.
#6- So you like the outdoors, cars and hanging out with your friends- aka you're male. This is about as informative and original as a McDonalds meal is nutritious, and exactly the type of person you will also attract- bland.
#7- Look I thought I told you before, balls are not attractive. You're not learning!
#8- On the internet, communication is written. A basic level of literacy is advised.
#9- Please limit your use of lol, rofl, and emoticons. It's very irritating.
#10- Last but not least, if you're using a profile picture it should be
a) of yourself
b) recent, not ten years or 20 kgs ago
You really think someone isn't going to realise if they meet you?
Rules for Internet Dating
#1- Do not send photos of your genitals. Seriously- I don't want to see them, and neither does anyone else.
#2- Don't use a screen name like "Mr Hot 4 U"- although it tells people a lot, but unfortunately it's not your intended message, rather "I'm a total douchebag"
#3- Never accept a request for a webcam chat- it's probably just another version of someone breaching rule #1.
#4- The idea of a chat room is to chat. If you don't say anything, you're devoiding the whole purpose of being there.
#5- Profile pictures of you shirtless or in the shower etc say either "I'm in love with myself" or "I'm a total sleazebag" or a combination of the above. You're probably likely to be the type of person to break rule #1 as well.
#6- So you like the outdoors, cars and hanging out with your friends- aka you're male. This is about as informative and original as a McDonalds meal is nutritious, and exactly the type of person you will also attract- bland.
#7- Look I thought I told you before, balls are not attractive. You're not learning!
#8- On the internet, communication is written. A basic level of literacy is advised.
#9- Please limit your use of lol, rofl, and emoticons. It's very irritating.
#10- Last but not least, if you're using a profile picture it should be
a) of yourself
b) recent, not ten years or 20 kgs ago
You really think someone isn't going to realise if they meet you?
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
Summernats: what is wrong with modern society
Summernats is a car show held in the first week of January every year in Canberra.
Events include burn out competitions, Miss Summernats, tattoo judging, strippers, and other such boganry.
As this festival of all things bogan, hedonism and waste rolls into town every year, I avoid the areas they might be like the plague. Along with the fuel chugging, fume creating, rubber destroying cars come their sexist, racist, fat, smoking, mulletted drivers who whistle, shout and sexually harrass you everywhere you go.
With the airing of the catch cry "show us ya tits" 224531 times a day, I once denied such a request outright, instead of ignoring it. "Yeah- fuckin' slut" was the reply. Wait a moment... so you're calling me a slut for NOT getting my tits out?!
A corresponding influx of southern cross tattoos, bumper stickers and Australian flags as attire arrives, and the multiculturalism level drops.
This year a day pass to Summernats was $70. I would like to know if ANY of the attendees at Summernats make $70 or more in donations to charities per year!? I would bet $70 on the odds that 70% of attendees would receive well and truly more than $70 in child welfare, centrelink or other such Government support in a year!
As thick layers of rubber are deposited on roadways and tyres torn apart more waste- resources and money alike- all sense disappears in a noxious cloud of sheer and utter stupidity.
Events include burn out competitions, Miss Summernats, tattoo judging, strippers, and other such boganry.
As this festival of all things bogan, hedonism and waste rolls into town every year, I avoid the areas they might be like the plague. Along with the fuel chugging, fume creating, rubber destroying cars come their sexist, racist, fat, smoking, mulletted drivers who whistle, shout and sexually harrass you everywhere you go.
With the airing of the catch cry "show us ya tits" 224531 times a day, I once denied such a request outright, instead of ignoring it. "Yeah- fuckin' slut" was the reply. Wait a moment... so you're calling me a slut for NOT getting my tits out?!
A corresponding influx of southern cross tattoos, bumper stickers and Australian flags as attire arrives, and the multiculturalism level drops.
This year a day pass to Summernats was $70. I would like to know if ANY of the attendees at Summernats make $70 or more in donations to charities per year!? I would bet $70 on the odds that 70% of attendees would receive well and truly more than $70 in child welfare, centrelink or other such Government support in a year!
As thick layers of rubber are deposited on roadways and tyres torn apart more waste- resources and money alike- all sense disappears in a noxious cloud of sheer and utter stupidity.
Tuesday, 10 January 2012
Things that Shit me #15- lol
LOL is an abbreviation/acronym for "Laugh Out Loud" which has wormed its way into the internet and text messages (or should I say txt msgs?).
So why does it give me the shits?
1- It's rarely used in a context where it is actually accurate. I seriously doubt that the people using it are laughing out aloud, or even giggling audibly.
2- It's often used incorrectly lol. Like when someone says "Hows the weather? lol"
3- The absolute worst part is when people actually SAY "Lol". It's not a word folks- its an acronym- Misuse of which is getting right up there with "ATM machine".
It is however a remarkable indicator of someone's stupidity at times- for example if you're making fun of them:
Me: "That's not right- you're a tool."
Lol-er "Yeah. lol"
ROFL: Don't think you've escaped the sword here.
I think I have possibly only rolled on the floor with laughter about 5 times in my life, not every time I write a fucking text or read a cartoon or comment on SOMEONE ELSE'S STUPID COMMENT ON FACEBOOK!
So why does it give me the shits?
1- It's rarely used in a context where it is actually accurate. I seriously doubt that the people using it are laughing out aloud, or even giggling audibly.
2- It's often used incorrectly lol. Like when someone says "Hows the weather? lol"
3- The absolute worst part is when people actually SAY "Lol". It's not a word folks- its an acronym- Misuse of which is getting right up there with "ATM machine".
It is however a remarkable indicator of someone's stupidity at times- for example if you're making fun of them:
Me: "That's not right- you're a tool."
Lol-er "Yeah. lol"
ROFL: Don't think you've escaped the sword here.
I think I have possibly only rolled on the floor with laughter about 5 times in my life, not every time I write a fucking text or read a cartoon or comment on SOMEONE ELSE'S STUPID COMMENT ON FACEBOOK!
Friday, 6 January 2012
Cheating
The other day I saw an interview with an author about a book he's launching called " The Monogamy Gap: Men, Love, and the Reality of Cheating (Sexuality, Identity, and Society)
Whether straight or gay, most men start their relationships desiring monogamy. This is rooted in the pervasive notion that monogamy exists as a sign of true love. Yet despite this deeply held cultural ideal, cheating remains rampant. In this accessible book, Eric Anderson investigates why 78% of men he interviewed have cheated despite their desire not to. Combining 120 interviews with research from the fields of sociology, biology, and psychology, Anderson identifies cheating as a product of wanting emotional passion for one's partner, along with a steadily growing desire for emotionally-detached recreational se with others. (fishpond.com) |
Dishonesty is one thing that can corrode a relationship and ruin trust between partners. Adding in another partner these days more than ever before also holds the risk of introducing new diseases to the relationship.
As a sexual health practitioner once told me- the amount of male patients who would come back from a holiday in Thailand (or other overseas locale renowned for low cost, and low quality in terms of safety precautions, prostitution), and say "oh no, I can't use a condom with my wife or she'd know I was with someone else.".
This disgusts me on several levels- but the dishonesty is the really insidious part. That they would rather risk infecting their wife with a disease than to be honest with them. It shows a total lack of respect for a partner, and only concern for their own desires.
Anderson cites a statistic of 78% of men and 75% of women have cheated at some point in their lives. I have never cheated on a partner- Does this really make me part of the tiny minority? Also- I only suspected two of my partners of cheating on me (and only ever had evidence of one)... is this incredibly naive? Should you EXPECT a partner to cheat on you? Not a terribly encouraging or trust inspiring thought!
If the sexualisation of our culture,is now exposin people to a wider array of images, ideas and media, why should this necessarily lead to cheating? Why not try them with your current partner? Perhaps there is a corresponding erosion of respect thats not being recognised in the same way.
Wednesday, 4 January 2012
Movie review: The Inbetweeners
As much as everyone says it's just like the TV series on which the movie is based, I've actually never seen the series, so cannot comment on a likeness.
As with many teen angst flicks, it follows a group of socially awkward, somewhat unattractive teenage boys on a highly unoriginal holiday in transition between highschool and university. In contrast to reality, good things always happen in these movies and ugly guys all wind up hooking up with attractive girls (although there are some very nasty moments where this is not the case).
If you laughed at Borat for the poo in the bag scene, or at American pie for any of its masturbatory references or phrases like "fingerbanging some fat minge", then this will amuse you.
Classy it is not.
It's one redeeming feature is that its a Britcom, so somewhat less cheesy than similar American counterparts, and far more loose with the language- I never realised you could get 4 slang words for vagina in a sentence before.
For all the shit I'm hanging on it, I did laugh- in a "cringing at the awkwardness" type way.
Plot- 1/2 star
Humour- 3 stars
As with many teen angst flicks, it follows a group of socially awkward, somewhat unattractive teenage boys on a highly unoriginal holiday in transition between highschool and university. In contrast to reality, good things always happen in these movies and ugly guys all wind up hooking up with attractive girls (although there are some very nasty moments where this is not the case).
If you laughed at Borat for the poo in the bag scene, or at American pie for any of its masturbatory references or phrases like "fingerbanging some fat minge", then this will amuse you.
Classy it is not.
It's one redeeming feature is that its a Britcom, so somewhat less cheesy than similar American counterparts, and far more loose with the language- I never realised you could get 4 slang words for vagina in a sentence before.
For all the shit I'm hanging on it, I did laugh- in a "cringing at the awkwardness" type way.
Plot- 1/2 star
Humour- 3 stars
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