Songs and Associations

Some people pass through your life and leave a mark in ways you wouldn't have expected- little memories, some like gifts, which all make up who we are.

One for me was a guy I was dating earlier this year, who in most respects was fairly unremarkable. We had some fun together, but it was never serious. When he stopped calling, I didn't think anything of it, as I had no real desire to see him again either. Nothing unpleasant- we'd just used up all we had to gain from each other, and it was time to part.

What stays with me, was his habit of putting on certain music in the morning while he showered and dressed (okay, and some other funny things too, like the videos of him nude bungee jumping, but that's a story for another day). 

While I'd always liked the song "Little Lion Man" when I heard it on the radio, I'd never sat down and listened to the full Mumford and Sons album (Sigh No More) before either. A few months passed and I found some tunes entering my head, so I bought the album for myself and now I am a huge convert, so thank you, 26- you gave me a new top ten album of all time.

Now there is also a song which, whenever it comes on the radio, I think of him and smile at the memory- "We are young" by Fun (no, not Paul Dempsey singing of "...dangled upside down from a great height..."). 

Other songs bring a smirk any time your hear them, like "What are ya (a yob or a wanker)", by TISM, which was unfortunate enough to work its way into the CD shuffle the night I lost my virginity. Talk about panic as he bolted across the room to change the song (also incidentally the night I learned of the bouncy comedy that is a naked man running). Somehow I don't the introductory phrase of "I'm a wanker...I'm a wanker... I'm a wanker..." was exactly the image he wanted to be giving at that moment.

Indelible images burned on your brain, which whenever you hear the songs, they rise again to the surface: The Johnny Cash cover of Hurt by Nine Inch Nails will always remind me of one ex-boyfriend. Any music by The Doors will always make me think of a friend I lost too young.

One of my favourite bands of all time is Something for Kate, and albums by their singer Paul Dempsey. They always make me think of a friend form university, when we'd be sitting in the corner loving the songs, reciting the lyrics, and everyone else would look at us like we're loonies. 

Recently though, someone has given them new associations, and I'm not sure what to make of it all- Will I be left with a smile when I hear them, or a desire to switch off? For now its a knot in the stomach, but there's no rest from this paralysis.