Fashion Victims #4

I have been generally appalled by 99% of the fashion available in stores at the moment.

The resurrection of the 80's styles is akin to resurrecting Steve Irwin- the unnatural interactions with animal-resemblant items- it really wasn't that good the first time around.

At least if you feel compelled to wear an animal print, you can find a matching item for it- as seen in the cropped fleece jumpers and colour-coordinated tights to the left. For those who feel such an urge, I highly recommend testing the products' authenticity and camouflage efficacy- by spending some quality time with a pack of leopards. I'm sure they'll welcome you with open jaws "Hey Bill- look, there's more stupid on the menu today!"

 I think this next dress was designed to look like the post-leopard-meeting aftermath. As seen recently in the Canberra Centre- oh how I scrambled for my camera phone to capture the wonders that abounded. Unfortunately the escalator was only so long and pointing a camera at an unsuspecting stranger is an activity best performed covertly, so the image isn't great. As it was tight enough to practically be her flesh, it was a bit decieving at 4pm on a Wednesday (since hookers aren't normally in the mall then) and added to the cmutilated-corpse-like illusion the fabric offered. The 3 black stripes, or claw slashes as I like to think of them, are complimented by the reddish fleshiness and blue veins throughout with a tinge of upchuck. She does, however definitely have the figure to get away with such a tight garment, so many sins can be overlooked.... unlike the following item.

Oh the jegging... woeful was the day I learned of its existence. Not a jean, not a legging, which both passed by in their own way independetly for years, but like a lovechild of Michael Jackson and Jocelyn Wildenstein a union of two entities that never should have been allowed- that emerged barely recognisable from their former selves. In case this wasn't enough, this particular horror is amplified by the inappropriate production of such a garment in plus sizes. For a model with a not-horrendous body, (probably rather similar to my own) this is however a perfect example of how NOT to dress for your size.

Douchebags online- aka A new hobby for Luke?

I have previously confessed to trying the internet dating world. I think it's a very interesting showcase of personalities.

Take the following for example: This person had requested contact with me about 4 times, and the first three, given his profile, I had rejected. I was applying logic- we don't sound like we have a lot in common, and Rule #5- he had posted a photo of himself topless. (See Rules for internet dating. Sadly I have tried to share the hilarity of his pic with you, but can't figure out how to copy it).

The fourth time he requested contact I thought- what the hell, maybe he's taking the piss out of himself with the picture, and if he's that keen I'll see what he has to say for himself- if he's a douche, he can be deleted.

I have provided the full interaction below (in blue), unedited for fairness, but with commentary (in Pink):

 Last message: 10-February-2012 9:34:37 PM

Happyhappy272 says:

Are you the type of girl to stay in at night cuddling on the couch watching a movie or are you the type that is a little crazy and takes life to the fullest? [hmm opening with a giant bucket of cheese eh? ok, I shall respond in a similar manner]

SasB says:

both and neither depending on the day

SasB says:

are you the type of guy who is in love with himself, hence takes topless photos of himself, or is trying to take the piss? [as really, its better to clear that up right away! If genuinely taking the piss you will a) laugh, if not, b) insert douchiness ASAP]

Happyhappy272 says:

im the type of guy that likes doing things for myself and is proud of what i have worked hard at [I'm guessing you mean your huge impressive muscles and physique here *please note saracasm]

Happyhappy272 says:

I dont love myself and i can take the piss out of myself [and yet you're about to demonstrate otherwise...]

posing like that is a joke among many i know [yep gottit- you're carrying on a bit here though and being defensive]

SasB says:

ok sure

its just never quite clear if ppl are joking or not

coz there are a lot who aren't!

they genuinely think "im like so totally awesome- check me out" [a normal gym junkie sentence, verbatim in my mind]

Happyhappy272 says:

yes well you can take it however you like i tend not to judge people

I do however judge people on their actions

SasB says:

yeah for sure

its the only truth

people can try and present whatever they like, but who they are will eventually show through in how they act and treat others

Happyhappy272 says:

this is true, you however I can tell already are a disgusting judgmental piece of shit I wouldn't even waste my time on, you look like shit, your personality is shit and you are just a shitful cunt, I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire your eyes are too far apart. Nose is definitely crooked. The shape of your face is not aesthetically pleasing at all. You look like a 3/10 with make up in this photo. I don't even want to imagine what you look like without make up. I actually just threw up in my mouth, just thinking about it. Your head is too big (although that may be, because of your giraffe neck posture) . As for your hair, lol. Seriously, do something. You look like a horse. Stare at your face for more than 5 seconds, and you will see how ugly you are. The eyes which are too far apart is what ruins /damages an already ugly face even further. Unfortunately for you, that can't be surgically fixed, lol. You arms are way too long. lol at how they hang by your sides. Kind of reminds me of lurch. Don't even let me start on your pale complexion. It only works if you look hot. Unfortunately, you do not look hot. Its hard to sum up a creature like you in one word. 'UGLY ' would be unfair , since it doesn't reflect how repulsive you look. GROTESQUE is stretching it. But somewhere in between, is where you would be, on the scale of an average man. I'm sorry if my words seem a little harsh. Just so you know, I sugar coated this post as much as possible.

Happyhappy272 has removed you from their contacts.

Now I'm not the world's most attractive person, and whether any of his attempt to upset me is accurate or not is a) a matter of opinion, b) coming from a man who takes photos (yes there was more than one, and they weren't all in funny poses) of himself topless, and c) irrelevant- as I had rejected HIM 3 times previously, so hey- hot or not buddy, you wanted it BAD!

So firstly I had a good laugh, then shared it with a few friends, reconsidered and thought- no this is GOLD- blog it.

The rant is brilliant- it's an extreme version of what I was talking about in my post on "Negs"- men who are that insecure with themselves that they feel the need to put women down to feel better about themselves and/or beat them into submission. That level of vile doesn't spew forth from someone in a few sentences- I'd say he was wanting to "punish" me for rejecting how incredibly awesome he was for so long.

Sure, I could have been "nicer" etc, but I think we quite effectively got to the point in an efficient amount of time. I only wish he hadn't deleted me so I could poke some more diatribe from him!

On the bright side- If anyone is bored, and want's to hack/ fuck with someone- I think we have a Happyhappy volunteer!

Katter vs Brown- on Sexism and the Female PM

In the news today, Senator Bob Brown commented that the Australian public and media commentators are often sexist towards PM Julia Gillard.

Since Julia Gillard has taken up the Prime-Ministership, she has frequently been subject to commentary on her wardrobe (for wearing "mannish" suits, "boring" clothes, and suggestions that she should get an image consultant and/ or clothing allowance), her hair (colour, cuts), not being "warm" enough (as though John Howard or Paul Keating ever were?), and even being questioned on her ability to make decisions on women's reproductive issues, as she has no children herself. Would a man be questioned on these issues? Possibly, but nowhere near as likely to be sledged to this extent.

MP Bob Katter came out with a retort: "I don't think sexism is riding high in Australia if anything it's probably the other way around.

Firstly, I'd like to say HHHHHHHHHHHHahahahhHAHAHAhahahahHAHA The other way around !?!?! Yes, you pooooor men and how you suffer against discrimination.... *note- comment heavily laden with sarcasm*

I'm not surprised that Katter, who would struggle to find his own arse with a map came out with a statement like this. Katter once said he'd walk backwards to Bourke if there were any gay people in his electorate... not long before his own brother came out- get reverso-strolling Bob! Might I suggest you eat your hat or any other cliche indicating how wrong and ignorant you are on the way? Oh wait- you were talking shit and had no intention of following through on your flippant remarks when you were proven so horribly wrong the first time.

So would someone who's SURE there's no gay people around be so aware of the sexists (when a reasonable person might be forgiven for thinking he's a narrow minded bigot and sexist himself), when he may not see the sexists over the snow blindness from his ridiculous white suits?

Uncommon Sense

The funny thing about common sense is that it's really not so common at all.

My mother once told me that when her brother (my uncle) moved out of home, he couldn't figure out why, even after putting his clothes through the washing machine they still didn't appear to be clean or smell very good. Once they ran through the process together- it turns out he wasn't using washing detergent! It's not that he wasn't aware of it's existence- it just hadn't occurred to him to USE it.

It seems to have litte or no connection to intelligence either.

My brother, who holds several university degrees in fields such as engineering, and could thus be assumed to be an intelligent person, but I cannot count the number of times that common sense has been demonstrably absent in his decisions and acts.

One of my pet hates is drivers, who seem to lack almost any sense, let alone common sense. On Thursday, driving home from work I saw not one, but two multiple vehicle accidents- the first with 4 cars all concertinaed together, the second with 3 cars. The simple rain + not driving so close to the car in front/ slowing down did not seem to occur to at least 5 drivers (the front 2, I'll let you off this time, but with the knowledge that you could have changed lanes suddenly and cut someone off, causing the accident).

I, on most occassions, have an abundance of common sense- to the point where I have oft been called a wet blanket for applying logic to what had been supposedly "fun" suggestions. I do credit it for living as long as I have though and not getting in to a hell of a lot more trouble! My common-sense blind spot is probably men, yet the one time I tried to apply it and date someone "more suited to me" I found myself in a passion-less flop of a relationship! Sometimes, perhaps, logic does not apply.